But this is not a column about Capezio shoes, Duran Duran and Swatches. This is about the subtle horrors of the decade; the parts of the '80s that sneak back into my consciousness now and then. Not the decade's obvious atrocities, like famine in Ethiopia or the Reagan administration's slow response to the AIDS epidemic, but subtler forms of hell. Things that are so inexplicably awful they don't seem real. Forgotten things that made no damn sense. Here are the five most forgotten atrocities of the '80s. A couple of months ago, I had to travel to West Virginia for business. After a long day of travel, including a rental car GPS that led me to the set of Deliverance II: The Rapening and some poor directions from an eyebrowless lady at the local Sheetz, I arrived at my hotel. If I tell you the concierge had a massive herpes blister, you won't believe me, but he totally did. Accordingly, when it came time to enjoy the state's nightlife, I made the obvious choice: double bolting my hotel door, getting drunk and watching YouTube videos. Somehow, this process lead me to Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" video, which I watched for the first time as a man. Even as a kid I knew the song was kind of an early '60s style throwback, but it didn't occur to me how cool that was. It certainly couldn't have been an intuitively obvious decision to sing like Frankie Valli in 1985. So kudos to you, Billy. Billy portrays a garage mechanic in love with supermodel Christie Brinkley. Even though the entire look and feel of the video is retro, it starts with two kids (presumably extras from Breakin') dressed in the height of break dancing fashion who appear to be trying to steal money from a pay phone. Don't worry, there are other, more positive images of blacks in the video, like Christie Brinkley's limo driver. Oh. Billy begins combing his hair using a technique prevalent in neither the early '60s nor the mid '80s involving epileptic neck seizures. Then we get some of the most stilted choreography ever assembled. Then Christie Brinkley comes out of the car being followed by Billy and his army of hunching monkeymen. Not for another 25 years would a moderately heighted man have the courage to stand next to someone so tall when a brave Dan O'Brien paired up with the ginormous Not as funny as Agents of Cracked. Then we get the break dancing kids doing the robot, because what says retro Four Seasons pop song more than break dancing? It was the '80s. Break dancing was everywhere. Ultimately, Billy gets the girl and marries her in real life. 4. Laverne Shirley in the Army In 1982, ABC had the great idea to take the then flailing Laverne Shirley show and make it a cartoon while the real show was still on the air. Sounds hard to believe, right? What if I told you that Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams actually did the voices? It's true. What if I then said the premise was Laverne and Shirley join the army just like Goldie Hawn did in Private Benjamin one of the biggest comedies of 1980? And what if I finished it off by explaining that Laverne and Shirley's commanding officer was a talking pig voiced by Horshack of Welcome Back, Kotter? All true. This cartoon sucks so hard I'm not sure how Seanbaby hasn't written about it already. To this day it is the only major network show to have "Peyote" listed as an executive producer. Just listen to the audio. I'm pretty sure microphones existed in the '80s, but Marshall and Williams seem to be somehow screaming their lines directly at the audiotape. Although Star Trek II wasn't yet in theaters, the opening credits appear designed to replicate the sensation of Khan's mind control parasites burrowing into your cerebral cortex. 3. "Don't Lose My Number" Phil Collins Let's get some things straight about Phil Collins: He has some amazing chops as a drummer; he has the ability to sing with tremendous range and power; he's written some and, most of all, I hate him because he absolutely sucks. Collins started as Genesis' drummer when they were a prog rock band fronted by Peter Gabriel instead of a synonym for "shameful disappointment." After Gabriel left, Collins became the lead singer and they continued to do some of their best work. Around 1978, Phil Collins realized he knew how to write pop songs, penning the somewhat cheesy, but still quite lovely "Follow You, Follow Me." Then the evil crept in. In a few years, he was writing solo albums, and though he wrote some excellent songs like "In the Air Tonight" and "Against All Odds," his vocals were getting more predictable, his arrangements simpler and his compositions, to use a technical musical term, more craptastic. So yes, the obvious choice is to tool on Phil for "Sussudio," which is just an absolutely miserable song. But this is a column about forgotten atrocities, and fitting the bill is "Don't Lose My Number." It should be called "Billy, Don't Lose My Number," because those are the lyrics to the chorus, but, of course, that sounds a lot like Steely Dan's "Rikki Don't Lose That Number." And since the Collins song compares unfavorably in every way to Steely Dan's, he probably didn't want to invite comparison. Take a listen. (Oh, the video is absurd and awful, too, but I really just want to focus on the music here.) Synthetic drums, processed guitars, vapid lyrics and just general suckiness. And it was omnipresent during the summer of 1985, peaking at No. 4 on the Billboard charts. And now no one knows it. That's as it should be. Although I just wrote about it. Fuck. 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Situation worsens when one is lost in some sort f financial troubles as debts. At such times, we may begin to look within and around for answers to our questions and look for options that could give a new beginning. The good news is Govt. allows for such legal filing as the method to pay off debts. But as there are always two sides of the coin even it is with bankruptcy filing. There are many people who actually doesn't seem to know the plus and minus of such legal steps and eventually get exploited. Seeing all this one of the most significant changes is that under the new law, consumers who want to file for bankruptcy must complete a credit counseling briefing, designed to inform them of their options in dealing with their debts, six months prior to filing. The course must be at least 90 minutes long and can't cost more than $50. Accredited agencies can't turn anyone away based on their ability to pay. As we all know prevention is better than cure. 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Being a non profit organization the debt educators help you to lead a debt free life for all. Education in these areas and many others will place you on the path toward financial freedom. This will also allow you to make practical decisions regarding your finances. We at 123 debtors understand you requirement to take debt education program and bankruptcy course as a part of your whole process. Women Nike Free Run 3 Hot Punch Pink Grey,Kobe Bean Bryant is regarded as the most excellent basketball athlete. His position is the shooting guard in NBA. He is skilled at shooting and passing the ball. No one can go through him. He got 81 points in a single game. In addition to the scoring skills, he is very superior to the organization ability. He always served as the first sponsors on offense. Moreover he is one of the best defensive players in the team. It is very hard to defend him closely. Kobe is the son of the basketball play and train and his hometown is Pennsylvania. He is the single son in this family. He has the same name as a dish. His father played in NBA for eight seasons. At the age of 6, his whole family moved to Italy and started a new professional basketball player life. Kobe in progress to accustom to his new life and learned to speak Italian and Spanish. He began playing basketball when he was three years old. His much loved team is the Lakers in his growing up time. His grandfather always gave him videos of NBA matches. He could research the competition video recording. When he was little, he started to play soccer and he loved AC Milan very much. He said that if he still stayed in Italy, he may try his best to become a great football athlete. He is the iron rod fan of the former coach and athlete of Barcelona. He admired Messi very much. In 1991 Kobe's father retired from the NBA and his whole family moved back to the America. When he was in the high school he earned national recognition for his brilliant skills. 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His trainer said that he is a complete player with great control ability. He took singer Brandy to his senior party}. He got a great grade in his SAT exam and he can go to a best college. Yet, he chooses to enter the NBA to become a professional player. And he is the sixth player in the history of NBA from high school to NBA directly. As it is not common to enter NBA in this way so he got a lot of focus from the public. Kobe is a horrible basketball player in NBA, he spend his whole life on the NBA.
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